as i write this there is a man in the apartment below me humming something very schmaltzy and i wish i could stop on the ground a few firm times and politely ask him which song he chooses to hum so loudly at 11:02 on a monday night but alas
i hold back.
today i want to write about families
i'm starting a new one, you know.
and making this new family merges together two other families
that couldn't be more different
i was raised pretty traditionally. my parents met when they were 14 and were married when they were 21 and still are today
all i knew was love and nurture and support
james was raised....in the complete opposite situation
his parents were divorced when he was 6 and was raised with his little brother overseas (russia, taiwan, Uzbekistan, china) by their mom while their dad remained in the states.
having nothing to do with divorce and everything to do with who was left as a guardian
it doesn't take long after looking into his upbringing that it was everything but
loving. nurturing. supportive.
it breaks my heart.
but james some how made his way out of that mess and into a wonderful adult hood
his whole blog
is all about how he came from the worst childhood, making the dumbest decisions as a young man and
finding the Gospel of Jesus Christ and turning his life around.
I look at my two sisters and their sons that are 2 months apart.
they are both AMAZING mothers
also, completely different
Amanda is detailed, organized, soft spoken---like the kind of mom that has her kids take french, violin, latin and fencing by age 4. she wears really expensive outdoor clothing and performs in the opera in oregon.
theo is the perfect child. (so is silas!)
Natalie--well we all know natalie. Natalie is free.She would argue that she is not---but i know her better. her days go with the mood of her spirit. and henry is her spirit whisperer. henry is also, the perfect child.
I guess my point is---
i feel like nothing is certain.
but just go with me here
if we pretend that we are the authorities and we know the formula for a perfect marriage, the perfect children...im pretty sure we're kidding ourselves.
yes of course there are elements that are necessary to help these institutions
love, support, understanding, charity
but haven't we all met kids who just turned out like jesse pinkman regardless of the nurturing family they were raised in?
or the james's that come out of dysfunction and become so solid?
the moral of all this is pretty much as simple and overstated as it is true
all we can do, is our best
in choosing a spouse
in creating a home
in raising a family
and after that
we are blessed with what we have
I don't know.
am I wrong?